It was over. He was leaving. Divorce was imminent. I remember the weight of it all hanging in the air like poison. I couldn’t see straight. I couldn’t feel or hear. I wanted to die. That’s all I remember. Asking God to just let me die. 

But the sun came up again the next day. And the next day. And the next. And I didn’t die. I remember those first few days, stretching my legs in my new normal and feeling like a tiny child. Slowly, life moved forward. A life I never thought I would have became my normal. But as the days stretched onward, bitterness grew in my heart. A rot began to spread. Hatred, anger, disbelief stretched and festered in my heart. Death was still there, waging war against my heart. I had become a prisoner. I was buried in ache and pain. Bitterness was coursing through my veins— a deadly rot was overtaking my heart.

And then one day, God rescued me from myself.

“Rachel, are you ready to bless him, and not curse him? Are you ready to forgive and let go? Are you ready to set him free into my hands? My justice is perfect and you can release your grip and trust me. It’s time to forgive.” I will never forget those words that pierced the darkest, deepest place within my heart. God was calling me to forgive. Forgive.

The only antidote to the poison of bitterness is forgiveness. Where bitterness rots and festers, forgiveness heals and restores. 

Can you pinpoint places of bitterness within your heart? We would encourage you to spend time in prayer, asking God to–
• move you to a place where you have a right and true view of His justice and love
• soften and prepare your heart to forgive
• reveal any places of bitterness and lead you to repentance, trust and forgiveness

When God calls us to lay down bitterness and forgive, He always provides the strength to do so. As we learn to forgive, we can look to Jesus, who willingly and extravagantly forgave the worst in us. It is His strength and His Spirit within us that makes it possible to root out bitterness and replace it with forgiveness and rest.

“Bitterness so obstructs your view of blessing that you can’t see it anymore. Bitterness in your heart is like being in the darkness of your basement on a day when the sun is shining and saying, “I hate the fact that I live in a world of darkness.” You don’t actually live in a dark world; rather, the structure around you and above you is obstructing your view of the sun. When envy becomes the soil in which bitterness grows, your suffering will become a lens through which you look at everything.”

(PAUL TRIPP)